The other day someone asked me what I do for a living, at first I said I don’t have a job. Which is a huge lie. Or an understatement, depending on how you view it.
I work one day a week in an office setting, I freelance for online news media and I’m an author. So, technically I don’t have a job, I have jobs.
When I stop and think about it, typing those words out are much easier than saying them, especially the I’m an author part.
I don’t why it’s hard for me to tell people I meet in person I’m a writer, on the Internet, I have no problem with that phrase. It seems everyone has an Internet version of themselves and an ‘in-person’ version of themselves. For me, the Internet Amanda is the most honest, who-I-am-this-moment me. Amanda 2.0, if you will.
So who is the real me, the Amanda that shouts to the web she’s a writer or the Amanda that meekly admits she’s a writer to a stranger she meets on the street?
I understand that I’m both. It’s just a matter of comfort zones. I’m more comfortable online, as thus far, that’s where my fan base is. I’m secure, I know who I am here. I know people read what I write, and like it. I have lots of friends here.
Please tell me I’m not alone in feeling like I have two selves. If you feel like you have another you online, I’d love to hear about it. Tell me, who or what is your Internet self?
2 thoughts on “Who Am I?”
I think through writing we meet the other person who has been dwelling inside, aching to surface and be known. I doubt my family and most friends would recognize the author Diane. Perhaps some are beginning to see hints of her existence. Like you, I think the lesser known version is more true to my inner beliefs and thoughts. I’m just beginning to know myself and testing out the sound of Author, Poet, Writer has been fun, but the self-doubting voices sometimes speak louder. I’m working on that, but I wanted you to know you are not alone.